I'm off and numbing

Brené asked what leads me to numbing myself. She challenged me to uncover what keeps me from being vulnerable or from actually doing the things I want self-permission to do. I made a collage of images that I felt reflected what leads me to numb myself.

OMG! When I look at this now, five years later, I am BLOWN AWAY!! Well done, Brene! Who knew that this little craft project could be so spot on?!

Before I break down the details of WHY I numbed, I figure this would be a good time to describe WHAT I used to numb. At age thirteen, my first numbing tool was food. Then, at sixteen, I added alcohol. Twinkies and Taquilla ! The perfect pairing to send me off and numbing!!

Stuffing myself with food left me feeling terrible about myself. And alcohol gave me a liquefied boost of self-esteem. Overall, this seesaw left me numb, Brené...that's for sure.

All of those images on my collage could be boiled down to one very important person. 

I was numbing because I was hot for Madonna...

#whatnowbrene